Of all the undesirable scenarios that have occurred due to Flappy Bird‘s existence as a thing1, the worst has to be the multitude of clones, knock-offs, and cheap imitations that the oft-maligned game has spawned. The better versions have expanded on the original idea and / or introduced new mechanics, while the most egregious copycats have used the Flappy Bird formula simply to advance their own nightmare of a concept, or worse, just to make an extra buck and do nothing different at all. XBLIG had its own influx of games looking to capitalize on the idea way back when, and now, in this wondrous, technologically-advanced civilized world of ours, in the year 2016, it doesn’t seem to be over yet. Cue Sexy Flight ($1.00).
Sexy Flight isn’t bad as a Flappy Bird clone, but it’s absolutely unnecessary and more than a little shitty for pushing skin over content. Not that you’d even know what kind of game Sexy Flight is, as the game’s lone screenshot (see above, and below) doesn’t give away much beyond the promise of not-even-nearly-nudity2, and the description mentions only a vague idea of flight. Then again, Snow-Capped Studios loves a good bait-and-switch (cough cough) something something awful awful Snowfall.
Something very familiar about this image, like I’ve seen it before.
Much like that game, the girls are meant to be the main attraction. Here, they cycle through as backgrounds as you
fap—, sorry, flap away, and your high score is saved for the duration of your play session. You can watch the always-reliable Splazer suffer through the trial in five and ten second increments if you’re really that curious and / or never heard of Flappy Bird.
Which brings us back around to the central point of living in 2016 and still having to do this. What good can be said about Sexy Flight? Well, it’s just a passable Flappy Bird, and at least it’s not Snowfall. That’s not saying much, but it’s all I’ve got, with literally nothing else to redeem it. So save your money, friends. And your dignity. It is 2016, and we should all know better.
- For the record, I don’t mind Flappy Bird (or some of its clones). It’s a (potentially) addictive time-waster, a decent distraction when you have a few minutes… or hours. ↩
- Seriously, google ‘sexy flight’. You might find a listing for this review3, but you’re also going to find much more sexier flights than this one. Just make sure to lock your door first. ↩
- The site’s also under ‘tree masturbation’, if you’re so inclined. The strange things I’ve tagged in a post for the sake of XBLIG. ↩