Were you compiling a checklist of things to include in your forthcoming indie release, the list for Flappy Monkey ($1.00) would read entirely like a game’s postmortem for ‘What not to do’, unlimited (facepalm)1 included. Release a Flappy Bird clone months after the fact, and when so many other better (and free) versions exist? Check! A terrible impersonation of the original’s gameplay? Check! The bare minimum of animation and art? Check! The ability to shit on everything you see as you flap past? Resounding check!
That’s right. Developer Awesome Enterprises‘ whole big ‘It’s like Flappy Bird, but different’ bit is the chance to take a dump on teachers with chalkboards, birds, and banana-wielding vegetarians. Because… I don’t know. Because juvenile humor is all we’ve got left, dammit! Because shitting, that’s funny2, right!? For your sake, you better hope so, as minus the copious cornucopia of defecation present here, Flappy Monkey does nothing else worthwhile.
The typical scenario applies— you flap your arms (or rather, your monkey jerks up awkwardly), flying through obstacles, avoiding crocodiles that lie in wait mid-snap, protruding from the top and bottom of the screen. You use that momentum to navigate through the level, collecting bananas and, um… shitting on people to improve your high score. And that’s it. What, you wanted more?
Well, you’re not going to get it. Sure, you can buy into the game to save your high scores, but I can’t think of a single reason or scenario that you would be proud to show off your achievements in Flappy Monkey. The shoddy setup, the over-reliance on shitty humor, and the total lack of variety doom it from the start.
If you’re one of the three people left on Earth that somehow haven’t played a version of Flappy Bird by now, you probably have no interest in it, and you have nothing to worry about. Though if you are interested, you could do infinitely better than playing Flappy Monkey. It’s less of a game, and more of a metaphor for shitting on indie gaming in general.