REVIEW: Ghouls N Gals

Ghouls N Gals ($1.00) is a Team Shuriken game, so you’ve probably got a decent handle on what to expect already; suggestively-clothed, two-dimensional women, and a paper-thin, one-dimensional plot. It’s the standard all-text, choose-your-own-adventure stuff you’ve seen before, slathered on top of some nifty visuals / slight animations. And it hasn’t hurt the developer yet, so why fix what isn’t broke1.

Ghouls N Gals - Screen

The job doesn’t pay enough to afford more clothing, however.

This game2 finds our pair of ghoul-hunting heroines exploring a haunted mansion, of sorts, trying to banish a curse / kill zombies / do something or another. It’s not really important. Rather, you pick from a number of highlighted paths in any given room, cross your fingers it’s the ‘right’ choice, and repeat. These choices take you on a tour of the house, winding through several repeated hallways and navigational choices. Eventually you encounter another character, or observe an object in the environment, and a line or two of throwaway exposition is tossed around.

As an additional challenge, Ghouls N Gals does feature ‘combat’, in the form of occasional QTE events placed over static screens of enemies (oh, and a guy eating a cheeseburger, for some odd reason). If you’re not quick enough, or if you press the wrong button, you’ll lose one half of your ‘health’… meaning one of the girls will die. Fail twice, and you’ll restart. There are two checkpoints that you can reach to minimize the amount of rooms you’ll have to replay, but even without that help, you won’t have to work too hard.

Ghouls N Gals - Screen2

Overall, it’s a predictably short journey that meanders to an anti-climatic ‘ending’, which really just makes Ghouls N Gals a glorified teaser to a sequel that may or may not ever exist. The game earns some bonus points for its playful nod towards P.T.— aka Silent Hills— at one point, but there’s really nothing else here that warrants a careful look, or purchase.

Wherever you stand on Team Shuriken and its catalog of ‘adventure games’, Ghouls N Gals is simply just another release from them, with no reason whatsoever to play this version over any of the last half-dozen cleavage-centric releases. The visuals may change from game to game, but the tired, repeating design and the criminally-short playtimes3 are always the same.

  1. It’s rhetorical, hence the absence of the question mark. Team Shuriken knows exactly what they’re doing, and no amount of questioning on my end (or anybody’s end… hmm… end, hehe) is going to give us the answers we’re looking for. Play on, friends, play on. 
  2. A ‘Chapter 1’ of an unknown amount of chapters. Funny thing is, most of Team Shuriken’s stuff starts out with a ‘Chapter 1’, but no additional chapters show up, despite the promises. That’s a pretty spotty track record, so take this whole ‘Chapter 1’ stuff with a healthy dose of skepticism. 
  3. It will literally take you 10 – 15 minutes to ‘finish’. 

16 thoughts on “REVIEW: Ghouls N Gals”

    1. For some reason Emily’s comment smells like a fake. “I like this game and play it with mom and sister” and “I’m going to get it” don’t match.

    2. The ‘fake comments’ are usually easy to spot. Most get caught by WordPress’ filters to begin with, and those that don’t are usually pretty obvious in their intention. Most also include shopping links as their personal ‘website’, or have links to other shopping sites in the comment itself. Her comment didn’t include either, so I figured it was legit-ish and approved it.

      As for it sounding awkward, it could just be a case of someone using English as their second language. If so, it’s not going to sound 100% fluent. Hard to be sure either way, I guess, but I’ll take the chance. 🙂

    3. Good point on the ESL. Never gave that much thought and no harm no foul really. Besides there are “bad games’ that I like to play as well so maybe it’s a case of that.

      under my breath still calling BS on the post but hey!!! LOL

    1. Pretty sure Team Shuriken is contractually-obligated to include a redhead in every game they do. 🙂

      Even redheads can’t save their games, though.

    1. Picked it up earlier tonight (finally), so I can’t quite comment on the difficulty yet. The GW games have always been the type of shooter I ‘chip away’ at, getting better as I go along. I’ll beat my high scores two or three times in a day, then go back the next and do it again. That’s probably going to be the case here, but I’ll let you know after I get some more time in with it.

    2. Yea it is one of those things that you do get better at….the thing is you have to get better at it in order to move on. It’s great if you only have a short time to play. Go into it and improve and move forward…but the 3 dimensions are blowing my mind away some.

    3. Yeah, the ‘dimensions’ aspect of it is a little jarring. I’m used to it somewhat, between Super Stardust and the Nano Assault games, but it’s an adjustment. It does feel harder to start, I agree. They kind of throw you to the wolves without much warning.

      I’m sad to report I’m usually 3rd (out of three people) on the friends list leaderboards. 😦

    4. Well at least you have something to strive for. Almost 50 friends I have and not one of them have this yet on the 360. I think at least half my friends have moved on to the One anyways.

    5. Could be. The siren call of that Next-Gen is tempting, especially with the cheaper prices / bundles…

      As for GW3, I know I expected more people to pick the game up on sale (or maybe they have, and just haven’t played it yet). PSN was selling it at the same price until yesterday, so there’s really no excuse for anyone that enjoys the series not to own it by now.

    1. A bit of both, I think. 😀

      Partly I play to see how bad this one’s going to be compared to the last, and partly because I know people will be searching for this stuff. Even now, the awful Date The Boss and not-quite-as-awful Sexy Island Adventure are in the top articles column. It’s no wonder the Devs keep putting out this kind of game, but I wish they’d try a little harder.

      That, and I wish Team Shuriken would stop calling things ‘Chapter 1’, when another chapter is likely never to show up. I think the last two or three I’ve covered have been a ‘Chapter 1’, and no follow-up yet.

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