REVIEW: The Party

The Party ($1.00) is dreadful stuff. I probably could have used a better lead-in to that statement, but I figured it was best to get it right out there in the least amount of time, ‘time’ being something that The Party doesn’t do too well with. Team Shuriken‘s newest pseudo text adventure drops most of the requisite tits and / or any semblance of character development, and instead focuses on a college party that quickly gets out of hand. Sort of.

The Party - Screen

Oh, if I had a nickel for every time this happened to me…

You see, as soon as this party is, quote, ‘getting started’, it ends. That’s right, the game just ends, ten minutes in. All you get is a smarmy / smug ‘Congratulations!’— as if you’ve accomplished some great task— and an invitation to drop another dollar if and when the second chapter is released (and given the developer’s track record for finishing what it starts, you could be waiting indefinitely). I could leave things right here and let us both get on with our lives like The Party never happened, but I suppose I should give some specifics.

After Bro’s1 computer gets fried, he decides to give his buddy Spencer a call to lament the loss. Spencer’s solution is to throw a party, but Bro isn’t feeling it. Also, they know like zero girls between the two of them. Doesn’t matter. Spencer is hell-bent on throwing this party with— or without— Bro’s approval. To do so, he needs to assemble a group of ‘babes’ by guilt-tripping them into coming, and this sets up the primary ‘guesswork’ in The Party. It’s the same trial-and-error stuff you’ve come to expect, mixed with some light animation work and the obvious choices that will instantly ‘game over’ you, even if they might be worth a chuckle.

The Party - Screen2

Once Spencer has gathered the girls, he goes to Bro’s apartment, only to have a group of college dudes show up. Turns out they were expecting hot chicks at this party. The group is instead dismayed to find out they’ve come to a full-on sausage fest, so Bro and Spencer get themselves tossed out of their own party. You skip to a ‘few hours later’, after Bro has supposedly been The Hangover2-ed (new ‘haircut’ and all), and this is when the game ends.

Lucky for you, I’ve essentially laid out the game in abridged form here, so there’s no reason for you curious types to even download it. Sadly, it seems that for every small step Team Shuriken takes forward, it has to take one giant leap backward3. The Party certainly resets any recent progress I’ve given them credit for. Ugh.

  1. I’m sure he has a name, but ‘Bro’ is the only title that Spencer ever calls him by. Also, ‘Bro’ is the same dude at the desk from Venus Explorer. In fact, maybe that’s the ‘game’ that fries Bro’s computer in The Party. I don’t have any clever remark for this, I just like the possible continuity and thought you’d like to know. 
  2. And if we’re talking The Hangover films here, Part II is clearly the best one. It beats the abysmal third act by miles and miles, and it’s funnier than the original because it uses those same jokes from the first film to better comedic effect with already-established characters and situations. This doesn’t have anything to do with the game, by the way, I’m just sayin’. 
  3. Did I just use the Neil Armstrong quote to describe Team Shuriken’s game catalog? Sorry, Neil. 

24 thoughts on “REVIEW: The Party”

  1. Woo, I’m late to the party. But after reading the review it seems like this is a party to be missed.

    And Tim, what have you done? Changing and misusing Neil Armstrong’s famous words… in a review for a game by Team Shuriken of all things?! That’s blasphemy! I’m disappointed, Mr Hurley. [shakes head in disbelief]

    1. I’m disappointed in myself! That why when I went back to proofread, I knew I needed some kind of apology in there somewhere. And thus, the mighty footnotes feature a most sincere apology. I’m reasonably sure this won’t happen again. Also, haha, ‘late to the party’.

    2. Phew, you should be glad it wasn’t Buzz Aldrin who said those words, he might’ve paid you a visit.

    3. That’s old school fisticuffs right there! Buzz comes from a certain point and time in the universe when you didn’t just ‘tweet’ your dissatisfaction, or threaten to sue somebody… you just punched a fool.

    4. Hm, is it just coincidence or did you deliberately include that quote? Just realised that today is the 45th anniversary of Apollo 11.

    5. Whoa. 😮 Subconsciously, perhaps, but not otherwise. Not even sure what make me think of that line, either, as I hadn’t seen any articles about the anniversary until you mentioned it. Timely references, that’s me. 🙂

  2. And so Tim Hurley saved Saansilt’s wallet yet again.
    Do you children want to hear of when the xblig regulars met Gandalf the Senile?

  3. I find there is no small amount of irony in that my Facebook feed announcing this post was immediately followed by a GamesRadar post about the best bad games you like to play. All I could think was how Tim could write an entire book on the best bad games no one should ever play. Your misery is appreciated, sir!

    1. You know, that’s not a bad idea for another leaderboard, or at least an add-on to the existing one. ‘Top Ten Worst XBLIGs You’ve Ever Played’ …. Might be a little mean-spirited to some of the Devs, but there’s certainly a good amount to choose from. I can tell you right now, it’d be hard to beat the one-two punch of TrickyTreat and Uproar! Apparently Uproar! was so bad, it refuses to exist on the XBLIG channel at all. Not sure if I deleted it, so I could go back re-live the terribleness. Oh, also GOOLIN. I’d have to think about the other seven on the list.

  4. I’ve been tempted to just pump out some sort of quickie title to “cash in” on my XBLIG subscription before it expires. So far I’ve resisted… so far…

    1. Call it “Boobitie Booby Bouncing Boobies”?

      I’m down for it!!! Just push the A button when you want them to bounce up and down and the X button for side to side.

      Can I be the artists? I can draw me a mean pair of boobs.

    2. I forget when I brought up the idea, or to whom, but it’s simple… Boob Shooter. Call it Breast Shooter Evar! 🙄 Have a pair of circles that look like boobs (but aren’t boobs, as we don’t want to break any rules), shooting out of the ‘tips’ (which we can’t call nipples) and destroying other, tinier not-boobs enemies. Hire Dream Poet for the art, loop in some ridiculously porn-ish music, and you’re all set. You want to really check off all the boxes? Make it more like Minecraft, call them ‘zombie boobs’ instead, and include Avatar support. Bam! You just won the internet!

    3. SWEET! I’ll get right on it! 😉 Zombie Bewb Shewter: Revenge of the Bouncing Breast!

      I wish there was some way to submit an XBLIG anon so that it wouldn’t stain my “good name”. 😛

  5. And Tim has taken the bullet for us again or is it that he’s just into torturer gaming? Either way, it wasn’t hard to pass on this in the first place before reading this so eloquently put together blo…er uh review complete with Hangover references and Neil Perar…er uh Armstrong quotes. I saw the artwork and though to myself that it looked like some pre teen had made the game and I was sure I would have nothing in common with the game maker so I moved along.

    1. I can’t help it! I like the rough stuff! 😈 😈 😈

      😳 … Ahem… I mean, yeah… I took another bullet for you guys. Haha… That’s right… I get no enjoyment out of this stuff at all. Seriously. Nothing. So… um…. move along. Nothing else to see here.

    1. I like to think that brings a certain amount of continuity to things as well. Start and finish with outright condemnation!… the middle is just the boring explanation stuff. 🙂

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