REVIEW: Unreal Land

Once you get past the amateur visuals (and it takes some time), you’ll find that Unreal Land ($1.00) is a platformer with a sunny disposition— full of non-threatening baddies and rainbows, drawing from a bright color palette. There’s something strangely-comforting in that…

Unreal Land - Screen

…and just plain-strange, when you consider the protagonist is sporting one of the loudest hairdos this side of the mushroom kingdom. Those dirty blonde locks / curls are rocking, sir. As unreal as that head of hair seems, the title pertains to the world our hero winds up in when chasing down his lost his balloons (which look like flower petals, and which shouldn’t float, but whatever, go with it!).

Perhaps befitting the look of the game, standard platforming rules apply; you jump, you collect, you throw nuts (!) at bizarre-looking enemies, you throw switches to open pathways, you ride moving conveyances, you bounce on spring platforms (that can be moved to gather flower-balloons and / or otherwise advance), and then repeat until done.

Unreal Land - Screen2

No double rainbow, man? Missed opportunity.

Simply said, it’s only the bare essentials of game design at work here, and, with no interesting sections or new wrinkles to unearth, just not very fun. Even more telling, it’s partially a re-purposed game, with little bits (enemies and art, mostly) taken from the developer’s last two releases, Lazy Caverns and Pablo’s Fruit.

Needless to say, this new experience is entirely underwhelming. With copy-and-paste art, lackluster gameplay, and lazy design that you’ve seen (and possibly purchased) before, Unreal Land is a shoddy effort that’s not worth your time.

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