REVIEW: Freestyle Football Trials

If you disregard the fact that here in the U.S., the ‘Football’ nametag is already taken by another, vastly more popular sport, why my country continues to call it ‘Soccer’ has for years bothered me. Some researching cleared that right up. You Brits did it to yourselves, it seems, so there’s no use now in getting upset at us Yanks for using the word. Well, there is the whole ‘Fahrenheit’ versus ‘Celsius’ thing we cling to, but hey, I digress. Freestyle Football Trials ($1.00) is the age-old game of keeping a football in the air for as long as possible.

As another quick release by developer NeuronVexx, one that uses the same character models and individually-controllable appendages from the studio’s previous drunk mankini disaster, it is a marked improvement over the last’s implementation. Your flailing now somewhat resembles a sport, and less a, say, drunken bar fight. The controls can still be frustrating to work with and adapt to. Fortunately, as the theme is California Games, hacky sack-esque, you use only your legs this time around, shuffling your feet to move and volley the ball.

You get two modes of play here, the literally-named ‘Keepy-Uppy’, and a freestyle setting that scores you based on the tricks you perform and the variety in the routine. While the first mode eschews any strategy beyond keeping the ball going, ‘Freestyle’ does introduce some skill in how you play, allowing you to pause and balance the ball on different sides of your foot. It takes a little practice (‘Timed’ and ‘Endurance’ options let you choose the pace), but you can get some decent combos going.

Freestyle Football Trials - Screen

Unfortunately, there’s just not enough to Freestyle Football Trials to warrant your time (even the original California Games had other events to keep things interesting). Online leaderboards for each mode help to promote replayability and a sense of competition, though there’s only so many ways to dress up the same thing. Whatever you want to call it— Soccer, Football, Footbag— the one constant here is boredom.

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10 thoughts on “REVIEW: Freestyle Football Trials”

  1. I’m a born and bread American and there is only ONE Football and it’s played with the something that isn’t even the shape of a ball at all. And why would anyone want to call Soccer by the name football anyways. That would be like calling the game of baseball, bat and glove ball or bowling, rolling pinball. How about we call Ping Pong paddle ball but not to be confused with paddle ball that we now need to call BIG paddle ball. And one more for good measure, lets call Polo, horseball. OK, I’m done for now. This is not to be offensive to anyone but please take this with the grain of salt that I used to put this together.

    1. Haha, I can see Bat and Glove Ball really taking off. Rolls right off the tongue. Actually, the interesting thing about Soccer, Football, or Futbol, Futebol, however you want to spell it, is that it’s NOT called Football because its played with your feet.

      It’s actually a class-based designation (surprise, surprise), seeing as though it was mostly peasants playing the game at first, running around the field ON FOOT, while the upper class mainly played their games on horseback. Using your feet to play was just too beneath them.

      And there you go. theXBLIG, teaching people.

  2. The football vs soccer thing… You mean… all this time… we did it to ourselves?!… It was us all along!… NOOOO! DAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!!

    1. Caught me off guard too. Here I was thinking that us Americans were just putting our own spin on the ball, so to speak, and turns out we were just going along with what others (the very same who criticize us now) had called it before us… Mind officially blown.

      Well, we still have the added ‘u’ in ‘colour’ or ‘labour’ to argue about, or why you guys use an ‘s’ in ‘criticise’ and ‘realise’.

    2. Despite my previous overly dramatic comment (I recently watched Planet Of The Apes, that’s why), I’ve never really cared that much about it all. Still, it’s good to learn something new. And I can now go around correcting and annoying the people who get annoyed by it. Bonus!
      As for the spelling differences… well, the English language and it’s lack of proper rules makes very little sense at the best of times, must be something to do with all the tea we drink.

    3. The tea drinking, yeah, that’s not my cut of tea, at all. Personally, I like to use ‘colour’ and ‘realise’ here and there, just to make my writing look a little more upper class. 🙂

    1. Ah, so that translates to juggling the ball, more or less. I’m not even going to pretend that I know how to pronounce that. 🙂

      I was so focused on the American / British ‘football’ thing, I tend to forget that ‘Futbol / Futebol’ is practically a religion outside of the U.S.

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