REVIEW: Ultimate Drunken Warrior

That old saying, how you always hurt the ones you love? Well, it works both ways. The developer of Ultimate Drunken Warrior ($1.00) is NeuronVexx, the same man behind the Terraria-like, create-a-world indie Dinora. Despite some flaws, and the not-exactly-original idea, that game gave you a pretty expansive sandbox that you could literally still be playing now, and not ever build the same world twice. It was impressive, another avenue that opened up to show what XBLIG developers could do.

And now, we get Ultimate Drunken Warrior. Eh… Dinora this ain’t. On the completely opposite end of the room, wearing a bright green (and oh so controversial) mankini and baiting you with its pseudo-edginess, UDW is nothing special or inspirational. Letting you choose your level of drunkenness (i.e., how annoying you want your controls to feel) after a night of pub crawling, it’s a bare-bones tournament fighter for up to 16 intoxicated souls, locally.

Both the playing style (direct control of each appendage) and art recall Mount Your Friends, which I have to admit seems like it should be on the leaderboard compared to Ultimate Drunken Warrior’s offering. Both games use ‘ragdoll’ movement to control their respective men. In UDW’s case, it’s to move the feet one at a time, or stumble around the screen in a slow shuffle. Fights are remarkably dull, swinging your character’s arms around in a stupor until someone eventually wins.

Ultimate Drunken Warrior - Screen

That is, assuming you can rope a friend into joining you. There’s no AI fighters to spar against, and the game is just barely playable alone, only in smashing crates in a vague reference to ‘training’. Your score isn’t kept, and there’s no penalty or reward for even attempting it. It’s simply there to provide meat for the demo. Considering the competitive side isn’t much better, the whole thing feels like a lost cause from the start.

Ultimate Drunken Warrior is the sort of juvenile amusement that might entertain some for a few minutes, were it not constructed in the cheapest way possible and costing you a dollar. As is, it’s a low-rent idea the channel could do without.

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10 thoughts on “REVIEW: Ultimate Drunken Warrior”

    1. Everybody throwing up their hands, and waving them like they just don’t care? Yes, synchronized indifference to the game they find themselves in -is- awesome! 🙂

    2. That’s one of those golden word pairings. I’ll loan it to you, but I’m keeping the trademark on that one. That’s going somewhere for a rainy day. 🙂

  1. Maybe…just maybe…..you have to get drunk first with a friend then play the game in order to fully understand just how great this game is.

    Or maybe not. LOL

    1. That first part of your reply reminds me of the Louis CK standup:

      Of course Ultimate Drunken Warrior is not a great game. Of course it’s one of the lowest forms of entertainment, that rips you off a dollar. Of course, of course…..

      ….But maybe, just maybe, if you start drinking as soon as you get up, and you live above a bar, Ultimate Drunken Warrior is the greatest piece of gaming you’ve ever laid your shaking hands on.

    2. I am laughing my ass off for reals……thanks for the video as a preface ( I actually watched it before I read the rest of your comment) and now I can’t stop laughing.

      Of course….of course its a good thing that you bring us these reviews to inform us of bad games and help us keep our dollars. OF COURSE

      BUT Maybe….if we tried them before we read your reviews we might think they are the greatest games ever.

    3. I’ve been doing the ‘Of Course, But Maybe’ bit since I saw it. Nobody gets the reference, but it is funny shit regardless. 🙂

      Actually, the whole special is incredibly hilarious, if you ever get the chance to see it. Louie never lets you down when you need a laugh.

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