REVIEW: Sexy Island Adventure

Somewhere in the middle of Sexy Island Adventure (80 MSP), probably after I’d upgraded my weapon / pick axe for the umpteenth time, and mashed the thousandth innocent bush or flower in my path, I came to the realization that boob games on XBLIG have now reached the point of total perversion (no pun intended). No longer just the domain of your basic puzzler or text-based affair, itself just a ruse to rub anime breasts in your face, it’s begun invading other genres. Uncraft Me! took on platforming. For Sexy Island Adventure, it’s the RPG / Adventure mold that undergoes a chesty re-imagining.

Sexy Island Adventure - Screen

Most men’s dreams go a little something like this.

And rather than using the typical construct for conflict / motivation in games, say, the vanquishing of some great evil, saving a kingdom in distress, serving a benevolent empire, or following some noble, enlightened course or journey, Sexy Island Adventure tries to pull you into its world with a ‘different’ kind of sympathy— ahem…, well, motivating your penis into action. It does so with the promise of photographing ten women scattered about the land.

Said land is wild and untamed, shrouded in mystery until you walk it and effectively ‘discover’ the terrain. Deserts, forests, water, lava; it’s all here, impeding your mission to various degrees. There’s plenty of loose money to be found, too, which will be used RPG-like to upgrade both you (increased walking speed, energy, walk on water?) and your glorified shovel / rake / axe, in order to destroy increasingly pesky barriers preventing you from achieving your ultimate goal— stumbling upon young women who have conveniently left most of their clothes as home.

Sexy Island Adventure - Screen2

Of course, it’s hard to tell there’s an underlying game here at all, as the screenshots for the game focus on the girls, which is, admittedly, the most effective, time-tested marketing angle. Indeed, there is no combat, no natural disaster or internal strife, to be found in Sexy Island Adventure. The title will not let you down. Still, the idea of breaking down the environment dull swing after dull swing after dull swing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and the ‘thrill’ of the hunt (finding the girls) gives only a subdued sense of achievement at best.

As expected, I cannot recommend Sexy Island Adventure. Hacking a thousand trees to bits to gather coins loses whatever luster it has once the reality of hacking down a thousand trees settles in. Put that mode on soundtrack-less repeat, and you can guess the result. The game functions as it should, a RPG / Camera Adventure hybrid perversion, though it’s not some great quest or wrong that needs righting that will spur you onward, no addictive arcade quality to cement repeat playing. It’s just boobs. Boobs, boobs, boobs, all the way through.

16 thoughts on “REVIEW: Sexy Island Adventure”

    1. Because boobs are the universal language, good sir! It doesn’t matter where you come from; they speak to everyone. When we eventually make first contact with aliens, I’m sure boobs will be the medium we use to converse with each other. Math? Bah, boring numbers that don’t mean anything. Tits, though!? Now you have their attention! 😀

  1. These games are the tacky rubbish that are destroying Indie games community on Xbox.
    Yes maybe my game might not be the AAA Alien horror game that it could have been, but at least its actually a game and doesn`t rely on sleeze to sell.
    I personally NEVER Peer Review these types of games, but unfortunately enough people do to get it released into the world.
    I understand the idea behind M$ not letting people judge the game itself – only test for functioning, but I do feel some sort of minimal quality/moral standard would help weed out this rubbish.

    1. I’m entirely in agreement with you about not letting sleaze sell the game. That is a serious factor in why so many developers (and gamers) write off the XBLIG channel, I’m sure. And there are plenty of games / studios that fall under that category, of shoveling the same crap out release after release. Boobs / Text / 15 minutes or less ‘gametime’, and then you’re done. I don’t think anyone, let alone the developer’s themselves, can really ‘defend’ that line of thinking and game design, other than doing it for the money.

      However, I will give Sexy Island Adventure and Uncraft Me! credit for one thing— they did build an actual game around all the skin. Uncraft Me! did a better job with its platforming, though SIA did make the attempt at an adventure / RPG-lite game, so I can’t knock it completely.

  2. Im no expert, but I think writing a review about games like this and seeing how ppl react is more fun than the game itself. I should write reviews 2… I will be called

    The Indie Manwhore Gamer
    I sleep with the game, and I kiss and tell, suck badly and everyone will know.

    I think that will be a good slogan. I still waiting to play Blood And Bacon, I feel Im the only person that have not play the game. It have been more than a week, thats the thing with indies, you are not 100 sure about the release date. And why always boobs? Indies should take Sir-Mix-A-Lot example and do a game around ba-dunk-a-dunks.

    1.…. I Kiss and Tell…

      I like it!

      It can be fun. I like the light-hearted stuff, so long as there’s something interesting in place, or some good gameplay. Although, when it’s boobs alone and / or terrible, it does make writing the reviews easier, I will say that.

  3. No!
    Saansilt musn’t buy it!
    No! Lies!
    Saansilt musn’t buy
    Musn’t support trend!
    Mustn’t enforce stereotype!

    In all honesty, the only times I find out about these in any depth is from your reviews.

    1. Hey, if I have to stare at half-naked girls all day in order to bring you these in-depth reviews, well, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

  4. Boobs! Boobity boobs boobed boobing boob. Boober, boobette boobering boobety boob boob boober. Boobs!

    1. Yep, and it’s not -all about- this; just part of the 95%. 🙂 Not to mention it was reader-requested, and these reviews are healthy for the view / hit count. Definitely would like to get away from these and the zombie wave shooters for a little while…

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