REVIEW: Gory Cyber West

Never has a game inspired the barest minimum of wording from me as Gory Cyber West (80 MSP) has. More due to the distinct lack of any new, worthwhile games to play than a burning desire to see it through to its thankfully short end, it nets a review here simply by being at the right place of the new release list at the right time of release.

Gory Cyber West - Screen

When somebody puts their dialog box right on top of your face, you are most definitely not welcome.

Essentially a series of bad cyberpunkesque clipart shuffling towards each other in front of a poor, static caricature of the Wild West, Gory Cyber West is loosely-defined as a ‘duel’ between two people, if pressing the trigger once the ‘Wait For It’ text disappears from the screen accounts for what you’d label a duel. I’ve had bowel movements that are a more challenging battle of wits.

The story consists of a baby in some type of ‘adult cybersuit’ (don’t ask how that same suit allows the baby to talk), dueling through a cycle of nine archetypical bad guys (and one woman). There’s no variance from one fight to the next other than a quickened reaction time by the AI, and a new unfunny one-liner from your next opponent to break the ice. At the end, you and your final sparring mate reach a draw and agree to buy each other a round of drinks, somehow negating the fact that you murdered all of his friends just a few minutes prior.

Gory Cyber West - Screen2

Not then, not now, not ever.

Sure, there’s an arcade setting (that extends the pain of dueling to twenty-five opponents) or a two-player mode (friends don’t let friends play this), but the less time spent in Gory Cyber West, the better. I’m sure you can think of something, hell, anything, better to do when even an actual duel, with the very real threat of death, would be more preferable. Don’t waste your time or dollar here.

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12 thoughts on “REVIEW: Gory Cyber West”

    1. That one’s on me. To be fair, once you start referencing bowel movements, these kinds of conversations are bound to happen.

      Still more interesting than Gory Cyber West.

    2. Did you see alien overkill on the indie store recently?
      At least two releases look intresting this week.

    1. Yep. Got a review just so I could get an article up. Real bad week, and now I see that the absolutely -awful- Zombominous got a sequel, which is probably just as awful. Blood and Bacon, we need you!

    2. With a promise of dino dlc.
      This week was just disappointing all around.
      One BoB game thats just a bad stereotype, one this, and from that title: another stinkin zOmbie wave shooter.
      I hope it gets better fast.
      Maybe sick kreations is up to something…

  1. Not interested. I read some developers critize the quality of some games on the market, but are not those same developers that have to accept the game on the 1st place? How that really works?…..

    Silver Farter: Yo whats happening? Accept my next game in the One Finger series “OFCB” (this game only uses one button) and I’ll accept yours.

    Team Libido: But is not that… like illegal?

    Silver Farter: Man, nobody cant tell you don’t make a game, if you don’t make the game where is your game? So, are you in the game?

    Team Libido: Whaaaaaat? I mean yes, sure, but you will accept mine Ferjcjdk Gosjdj BOOBS Yoeosk 2″.

    Silver Farter: I only get the BOOBS parts, but we got a deal.

    NOTE: Im just joking, everyone deserves an opportunity, and, if something was making me money, I will keep doing it. Bad fame or good, that does not fill your bellies, is the money that you make out of it.

    1. True, and I’d never tell a developer to stop making games just because I don’t like them, but I will criticize a game when it takes the lazy route in game design, like our good friend Gory Cyber West here. I’ve seen better flash games than this, and they weren’t charging money to play it, either.

      In fact, XBLIG had a big controversy this past week, with a developer stealing from another developer and trying to sell the game on the marketplace. ‘Magnetized’ was pulled from sale after the outcry, as well it should have been. The original, by Rocky Hong, is not only better than the XBLIG version created by the fraud, but it’s a much better use of time than Gory Cyber West, and it’s completely free:

      http://www.kongregate.com/games/rocky10529/magnetized

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