REVIEW: Orbit Crash

There are some among us, even close to us, our friends and neighbors, that would look at something like Orbit Crash (80 MSP) and call it ugly, a glorified flash game that doesn’t deserve to breathe the same digital air as other, crowd-pleasing favorites. Those numbers are gratefully few. I say thank goodness we live in an intelligent, progressive society that doesn’t praise and reward the exceptionally good-looking while degrading and ostracizing the commoners. Ha. Of course I’m kidding. People are going to say that Orbit Crash is ugly.

Orbit Crash - Screen

It’s also not much of stretch to call it a glorified flash game. Movement feels weighty, no doubt to mimic the sensation of hurtling through space with abandon, but with simple controls (up or down) to compliment the simpler black & white art, there’s not much between it and what you’d fill your time with while waiting for something more impressive to download. Following in the well-traveled rut of ‘start from the celestial bottom and build yourself up’ simulators, except with a more arcade, auto-runner style, the game lives and dies by pushing that thrilling (so the developer hopes) concept endlessly.

Though whether the emphasis is on more speed, chill exploration, or avoiding obstacles, you’re still just growing in size and swallowing up the smaller bodies around you— Darwinism in Space, if you will. There’s no real score being kept here, no progress markers (save for your slow growth, which just looks like a zoomed in view), no objective beyond ‘space binging’, though developer Gentlemen Squid Studio insists there is an endgame. I didn’t find one.

Orbit Crash - Screen2

Maybe I’m missing something, and Orbit Crash is less a game you ‘play’ and more like a space opera you watch. After the first growing spurt, I positioned my rock at the bottom of the screen, where it could continue to suck up the surrounding debris and avoid any Goliath-like entanglements, put down the controller, and then this literally happened for the next twenty minutes. Needless to say (my aloof, quizzical expressions speak volumes), whether you’re interacting with it or just watching, it’s not very fun.

A graphical and creative downgrade, Orbit Crash is a waste of your time and 80 MSP. However you choose to read that, there’s no venom or malice intended within the line, just hard fact. Chalk it up to an adventurous misstep, an abnormality from a developer that I respect, one that knows better and can do much better.

8 thoughts on “REVIEW: Orbit Crash”

  1. How dare you!? HMPH! 😉

    Kidding of course. I love that clip you made! So freaking funny! I had someone else comment how they couldn’t change size on Youtube. So I made a video showing that it is possible. That’s all!

    I’m so grateful for your time and what you do here for indie devs. Sometimes we’re going to win you over, sometimes we aren’t. But it’s the opportunity for someone to give us (all indie devs) a chance is probably the hardest thing we do. Many thanks!

    Have a nice day 🙂

    1. Thank you, as well, for taking the criticism as just that, and for enjoying the video. 🙂 Like I said in the review itself, I respect you guys as a developer, and I’ve enjoyed the previous two games, Rise of the Ravager, in particular. You can’t win them all, indeed, but I look forward to your next project, whatever form it takes.

      And yeah, I wouldn’t call the bottom screen move a ‘cheat’ exactly, more like a lazy way out. It definitely takes too long ‘playing’ it that way. I’m surprised that someone would say it’s impossible to grow, though. Just out of curiosity, how many times can you ‘grow’ in the game, and is there an ending to it?

    2. 6 times. There is an ending, but it’s more of a congratulations type of thing. You get so big you’re able to just smash anything in your way.

      At its core, Orbit Crash is a “runner” game and this is our take on the runner genre. Unlike many runners, we wanted to have the player have the ability to cross a finish line. It is an endurance thing which some love. While the game seems simple, it’s deceptively challenging. I haven’t even beaten it (without the full-on cheat code) 😉 I’ve gotten big though, and so far I think I’ve made it the farthest. That video I recorded, I was holding my breath and did cuss at the screen because I’ve done better. And in case, I nor most of the team didn’t design this game as it was made by one of our programmers with playtest input, so that’s not why I get far. This is just me enjoying it, as I like these type of games. :p

    3. Six times, eh? That would require nerves of steel (that I don’t have) to pull off, assuming it would take about 10 minutes (estimate…maybe less), without an error, to reach that size.

      Good luck to any that attempt it, and congrats to those that succeed. 🙂

    1. While I do like the fact that it’s more arcade-like than simulation, yeah, it’s still the same horse just a different color (might be my first Wizard of Oz reference ever).

      @David: Unless I’m completely wrong, and there’s some hidden game or unbelievable platformer lurking underneath the surface, you are completely right in passing. 🙂

The Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s