Some days it’s just hard to conjure the needed excitement. Review writing, in particular, can be a chore when the product in question neither definitively enthralls nor repels. Seeing something named Tank Attack 2D (80 MSP) on the marketplace doesn’t scream good fortune, and it doesn’t exactly get your blood boiling, either.
You’ll have to excuse the opening lines, although they perfectly reflect the nature of the game. Booting up the trial for Tank Attack 2D, you’re not sure what the excitement would be here. The title is certainly… honest, I guess. Uninspired is a better term, same for the box art and content, which ropes you into an arena of endlessly spawning tanks, both big (mini-boss types) and small (foot soliders), that need destroying. Stationary turrets also get in on the act as things progress.
Powerups make an appearance every so often, and are your standard fare (rapid fire, laser, health, 1UP, etc.). Multipliers via kills increase your score, though the end goal is simply to survive on an endowment of three lives (at start) and three screen-clearing bombs to be used in an emergency. You’ll be granted an additional bomb at every one hundredth kill. Drop rates for the items are mostly favorable, but the onus is on you to last and make it last.
To be fair, nothing is broken in the game. Everything works and functions as it should. Though the biggest fault I find in the game is the same critique I leveled at gorgeously-shallow Hypotenuse; everything on offer is already available in the eight minute trial. Sure, you can run up your high score to brag to your cat or neighbor, but there’s no online leaderboards or other modes / options to unlock. Beyond the initial taste, it’s redundant, just like Hypotenuse.
As a first effort it’s commendable, proof of concept and all that jazz, though as a product for sale, Tank Attack 2D falls short of the mark. It’s the kind of idea you show off to let people know you’ve got some talent up your sleeves, then promptly put away and set about designing something more substantial. There’s just not enough under the hood here to justify a buy, and the gameplay that is present is nothing you haven’t seen dozens of times over. Pass.